My First Crush
by roankun
Summary: Kirino muses about her relationship with Kyousuke.


My first crush was my onii-chan.

Back when we were still little, he was always helping me, always protecting me, always by my side. He was _my_ onii-chan, one I wished I would be with forever.

I can't remember exactly when things started to change between us, when we left the close siblings phase and entered the strangers chapter of our life.

I guess it was sometime around my elementary years. Probably around the fifth grade. That was when I first met Ayase and got interested in fashion. I had always liked cute accessories even back then, but it was thanks to Ayase that my fashion sense bloomed.

The more time I spent with my new best friend, the more I felt my onii-chan slipping away from me.

But even before Ayase transferred to my school, there were already signs of me and onii-chan slipping apart.

When I participated in my first race, he wasn't there to cheer me on. I thought it was because he thought I wasn't good enough, so I did my best and practiced and practiced and practiced. My coach said I already had potential to begin with, and with my determination, I was able to live up to my coach's expectations and won first place in the regional race. But he still didn't come.

When I was recognized as an honor student, he didn't praise me, didn't congratulate me, didn't even acknowledge it. In third, fourth, fifth, and sixth grade, four consecutive years I was an honor student. But it seemed as if he didn't care.

When I made that deal with Dad and started working as a model back in the sixth grade, he was the first person I told. I waited for him to come home from school and left the magazine I was featured in by the refrigerator so he would look . But he just ignored it.

Ever since I entered middle school, we didn't even talk. Aniki didn't try to start any conversation, and I, rejected, felt no need to. Who needs him anyway? I have my eroge; my imoutos are more than enough to satisfy me. Meruru and Shiori-chan are all I need by my side.

But still… I don't understand. When did these affectionate feelings leave? Where did they go? Since when did they become feelings of hate?

It wasn't until after he found out my secret that I understood.

That day started out as normally as it could. Wake up, go to school, morning practice, classes, go home. That was the usual routine. I'd get a call from Ayase and we'd laugh as we talk about fashion and work, to name a few.

Then, he came home. Called out "I'm home" to the house, not to me. So I turned my face away from him and continued my conversation with Ayase as I hear him make that 'tsk' sound as if he was irritated at my very presence.

Fastforwarding, he found out that I was an imouto otaku, helped me solve things with dad and even patched up my friendship with Ayase.

I couldn't believe it at first. Would an aniki who hated his imouto – and whose imouto hated him back – really do so much for the said imouto? When I finally came to a conclusion, I became giddy, and that was when I understood.

He didn't hate me.

And I didn't hate him back.

My feelings didn't leave, they just hid inside me, dormant for the time being.

I wonder when I'll have the courage to tell him?

I love you, aniki.

* * *

If you're reading this, it means you watch OreImo and already know what aniki, onii-chan and imouto mean. ^^

I've actually been planning to write this since ep 5, but I kept getting held off by school work. Thank God for the Christmas holidays. This was supposed to be longer, with the finding-out, Father-fight, Ayase-fight dragged on and written separately from Kirino's POV, but I got bored of writing and went back to rewatching OreImo for the hundredth time. I'm actually glad that I was able to finish this.

Hopefully, there'll be an OreImo category and it'll be filled with KirinoxKyousuke fics ^^ (Although I can already feel the Kuroneko fanbase gaining the lead, since people already want to bitchslap Kirino)

Anyway, hopefully you'll review, and hopefully, I've spread a little of my Kirino love to y'all. Merry Christmas~


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